Age 3-my father goes out to move the sprinkler and looks back to see me standing next to the faucet about to turn on the water to soak him. He says ’now Kevin, if you do that, the Easter bunny won’t come to visit you.’ My response (I’m 3 remember), laughing I say ’to hell with the Easter bunny’ and soak him with the hose and proceed to get bent over in laughter.
Age 3 1/2-mom can’t find me and is getting frantic. I’ve walked from the house on Hagler Dr. all the way down to the park at Florida Blvd. and 3rd Street. She finds me there with Sandy, a coyote mix my uncle found while in the army. Sandy was my constant companion. When mom finds us at the park, Sandy is keeping between the water and me. Good dog, damn good dog.
Age 4-dad can’t find me and is getting frantic (do you sense a trend here?). He hops over the wire fence and out into the wild brush behind our house (we’re living on 4 acres out in undeveloped western Atlantic Beach at this point). He spots me up a tree and doesn’t believe my story about that nice bull over there that chased me up it. I finally come down and thump! thump! thump! That bull is coming fast. We scoot.
Age 11-My dad hears from my 6th grade teacher at the Catholic school I attended that I was asked to write about a role model that I wanted to grow up to be like. I’d put Benny Hill. They had a good laugh. I was totally serious.
Age 19-I get my real estate license and start marketing 7 & 8 figure shopping centers. Clueless, fearless and lucky, I’m able to get some incredibly affluent types on the line.
Age 20-friends start a band and let the guy with zero musical talent (me) become the manager.
Age 20 1/2- I see an article on the hottest label of the moment, SBK Records, in a national entertainment magazine. Clueless, fearless and lucky (the trends they do continue), I pick up the phone and 2 minutes later the guy pictured in the magazine is on the line. A little while later, a manager with zero experience and a band barely out of their mom’s spare bedrooms is showcasing for hottest label in the country.
Age 21-I drive by a tiny bar in Jax Beach on a Monday night and roll my window down to hear what the band playing to the empty bar sounds like. They sound good and I’m drawn into a crazy ride as I partner with Spider Monkey for the next several years and the band becomes one of the most successful unsigned acts in the country. I took great pleasure in knowing that the little band from St. Augustine could be put onto any stage in any town on any night and take the place apart. Putting on the strongest live show known to man, Spider Monkey would play to hundreds of thousands of fans across the southeast.
Age 23(?)-Somehow we score some incredible seats at the Guns ’n’ Roses show in Tampa (St. Pete?). I look up and Axl’s supermodel girlfriend from all of the videos, Stephanie Seymour is standing a few feet in front of us. Clueless, fearless and lucky (here we go again) I walk up and proceed to have a really nice conversation with her. She turns out to be a class act and I’m impressed.
Age 23 1/2(?)-We see an incredible black and white music video shot by one of the college roommates of a acquaintance named Steve for his amazing band, The Fenwicks. I start discussing with his former roomie, Bennett Miller, the possibility of shooting something for Spider Monkey. In the end, the required budget doesn’t jibe with the fact that we have no distribution channel to make use of the video so the project is canned. Steve from the Fenwicks goes on to have an acting career (he’s been on HBO and ’24’ this season). Bennett Miller goes on to conquer Hollywood directing the award winning film Capote. And years later, while waiting for my low carb big train at Shelby’s, I’m mistaken for Steve and Bennett’s other college roommate, Philip Seymour Hoffman. I kid you not. I couldn’t make this stuff up. That guy was the third roommate.
Age 25-On some subconscious mission; I’m compelled to arrive in Gainesville for The Alachua County Music Harvest a night early to see a band from Orlando (my clients weren’t scheduled ’til the following evening). I’m drawn to the open field like the characters in Close Encounters of The Third Kind. I take in Tabitha’s Secret and I swear it is some surreal sense that this is a life-changing moment. Then between songs, the singer asks the crowd if anybody else there is a fan of Spider Monkey like he is. Game on.
Age 25 1/4 The introductions have been made, my reputation has preceded me and I’m managing future Grammy winner Rob Thomas and company. They are quickly plugged into my network of agent, publicist and contacts at Atlantic Records. Soon after, Yourself or Someone Like You is released and from that point on the songs are a fixture on American radio.
Age 26(?) Spider Monkey is mentioned in Hits & Billboard Magazine prior to showcases at New York’s CBGB’s and The Roxy on the Sunset strip. Label interest is palpable. Over 30 major label reps hit the NY show including Madonna’s then manager and CEO of her label Maverick and along with a guy from Atlantic who would later be named President of Sony imprint Columbia Records. The LA show brings similar results. One interesting side note: a producer/ A&R guy from Sony in LA named Randy attends the show and digs it pretty hard. A super nice fellow but we don’t hear anything from him again and then years later Randy Jackson, the Sony guy, is a judge on some new show called American Idol.
Age 26 1/2 At this point, I’ll pick up the phone and pretty much call anybody I damn well please. When I ever have a question or just feel like ’talking shop’ with folks a couple rungs up, I just do it. It is around this time that I enjoy talks with and get some great advice from the managers of The Counting Crows, Greenday, Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots. A person I enjoyed adding to the list was Bill Aucoin. He’d built Kiss into a merchandising monster in the 70’s. Long detached from relevance in the industry by the time I reached him, I still had huge appreciation for what he pulled off. One of the guys that was most gracious with his time was Rusty Harmon, Hootie’s manager. There was a little bit of common ground between our clients. They both ’came up’ in the same clubs around the southeast and we had some fans in their organization and their band. Say what you will about them but Cracked Rear View is a great record. It sold 16 million+ copies and you’ll be hearing those songs for the rest of your life. Anyway, Rusty let me take a tour of Fishco’s (Hootie’s corporation) offices in Columbia, SC right at the height of their success. It was impressive. I recall vividly, Rusty grabbing a few items out of the back of his car. One of the things was a moonman statue they’d just been given at the MTV video awards. That image stayed with me.
Age 27(?) My cousin George, who is in college, calls to say that he and his girlfriend at the time are coming to town. She is a talented actor and aspiring pop singer. She starts the first leg of her tour supporting a rising boy band (one of these guys would later bring sexy back) here in Jacksonville. My cousin says, don’t mention anything but my girlfriend’s great friend who co-starred with her on a TV show (insert name of huge actor here) is flying in to surprise her and take everybody out to dinner. We pass on the concert due to some other obligations but head down to Ruth’s Chris to meet them as dinner is wrapping up. The hostess leads us back to a side room and there is Will Smith hugging my cousin goodbye to catch a red eye back to L.A (my cousin has had more brushes with fame than I have). Pretty neat. I sit next to a Sony rep and we start talking about some actress named Jennifer Lopez that they just signed. I remember that I’d never heard of her but this lady was pretty excited about it.
Age 27 1/4 A friend who wrangles reptiles at The St. Augustine Alligator Farm (he was on ’Myth Busters’ the other night) tells me about an interesting character who sold them Gomek, the giant crocodile. Arthur Jones was a bush pilot exiled from some collapsing republic in Africa back to his native US. He founded Nautilus in Ocala became massively wealthy and built Jumbolair. It was a house with a huge runway, which he used to land his jumbo jets at and taxi right to his door. He proceeded to have his numerous adventures catching or acquiring crocs, elephants, and gorillas chronicled in multiple appearances on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show. On one show, Bo Derek was also a guest and learned of an upcoming trip he had planned to pick up a huge croc in Australia. She went along with Arthur and the resulting media attention brought scrutiny from the govt., which put a halt to his acquisition (he went back later and picked up the croc). He had since made and lost fortunes over and over again and was said to be an incredibly wily character. So I called him. He was a little gruff in his old age but sharp as a tack. He’d had a heart attack and no longer left the house. He shared some really cool stories with me and said to look him up if I ever made it to Ocala. I regret that I never did.
Age 27 1/2-I leave the music industry and join some great friends at a technology staffing start up. I know nothing about the business or computers but thank God, I’m clueless, fearless and lucky.
Age 28-I’m the most successful recruiter in the short history of the small firm. I earn more in my best month staffing than either of my parents had made in any of year of their career.
Age 29-I become President of the company and redefine the scope of our services. I conceive of a web site to attract candidates with a certain, rare skill set. It is executed and online within a week. Over time, it draws so many of these unique candidates that manufacturers will eventually pay simply to become members of the web site.
Age 29 1/2 I start getting wacky ideas for animated properties with massive appeal to kiddies. I fax a guy best known for being the marketing genius behind one massive pop culture sensation involving mutant reptiles back in the 80s/90s with one of my concepts. He calls to say that he loves the name and wants to hear more about the mythology of the characters. It gets left alone for a while because I don’t fully have the vision hashed out for that project until some time later.
Age 31-After a long battle seeking to right some leftover wrongs from my music career, my day in court turns into a nightmarish miscarriage of justice. To make things worse, the story hits the local news stations and print media and my hands are tied to stop the spin. I have to sit through the longest day of my life as the story gets totally slanted and my name comes up on every channel. I have no comment.
Age 34-I switch industries again and join the family business. Still clueless, fearless and lucky, I now have many friends buying homes and I sell over a million dollars worth of property in my best month of my first year.
Age 34 1/2-I head to Orlando for a big car meet with a bunch of high-end car owners. There are about 50 or 60 Porsches, Ferraris & Lamborghinis there along with my rather pedestrian C32 AMG Mercedes. Towards the end of our gathering, 40 Supra owners roll in to check out the cars. One familiar looking guy comes over to chat up the only Mercedes owner there. He tells me how he has satellite hooked up to play on the navi screen in his S class. It was Terry "Hulk" Hogan. He was a super mellow, down to earth guy.
Some dates / ages are guesstimates...I’ll try to update this as more stories come to mind.
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